The moment I realized I would never read all the books I wanted to in my lifetime was a defining one — but that hasn’t stopped me from trying. Lately, I picked up “War Paint” by Lindy Woodhead, a dual biography on the rivalry between beauty icons Helena Rubenstein and Elizabeth Arden.
I went in looking for wisdom on running a beauty business and the history of the beauty industry in the U.S., but I left reflecting on what I’d like to do differently. (If you’re here for the lip gloss, scroll to the end for four excellent products, three of which are from brands founded by women.)
Beauty Standards? Let’s Reconsider.
In the 18th century, women furiously rouged their cheeks to mimic the flush of youth. Fast forward 200 years to Victorian culture, and women were expected to wear makeup so subtle it was practically invisible—a reflection of the era’s purity ideals.
Marie Antoinette influenced women across Europe by piling on rosy rouge.
In the early 20th Century, Rubenstein and Arden capitalized on women’s insecurities, selling the idea that we’re never enough as we are. A new product, a new treatment, a new innovation—always necessary to stay youthful, competitive, and desirable. It was genius and ground-breaking marketing, but it laid the foundation for confidence-shattering claims from beauty brands for years to come. Even today, the beauty and wellness industry pushes a narrative of deficiency—promising youth, brightness, thinness — implying happiness is only a product away.
Anti-aging? Absolutely not.
I bought into this narrative for decades; continually searching for some miracle product to “fix” my skin. Not surprisingly, I never found it. So when I founded Phosis, I didn’t want to feed into the idea that women need fixing or that they aren’t “enough”. Beauty, for me, is about strength and resilience, not erasing the effects of time on our skin. That’s why we don’t sell “anti-aging” products. And striving for a face without any wrinkles is unrealistic. Rather, we focus on strength, barrier function, dryness, irritation, and texture which can be common challenges for skin during peri/menopause.
One of the most important things I’ve learned is that healthy and lovely skin is the result of many things: sleep, stress, diet, movement, and meaningful connections. That’s why we take a holistic approach — supporting both your skin and your overall wellness, especially during peri/menopause when everything feels like it's shifting.
Rivalry? No Thanks.
Rubenstein and Arden’s rivalry was rooted in a scarcity mindset — the idea that one woman’s success meant another’s failure. It’s a pattern we’ve seen in male-dominated industries for centuries. While their rivalry drove innovation in both skincare formulation and cosmetic treatments, ultimately these women spent the majority of their time trying to outdo each other without appreciating their individual success. Both women scaled their companies into global empires, which is no small feat from my perspective. And no matter how impressed I am by what they achieved, I am not interested in growing my company by tearing down others.
My journey as a founder has been shaped by women who believe in collaboration over competition. Recently I met Kari Gran of Kari Gran Skincare at an indie beauty conference, and she shared her knowledge generously. That experience solidified my belief that there’s enough success to go around and that women in peri/menopause deserve lots of different products to choose from.
Self-Expression? Always.
As I near age 50, I’m finding a newfound self-confidence that I'm exploring with clothes and makeup. These days, whether I go for a smokey eye, a bold lip, or a more natural look, makeup for me is about self-expression. As I prepare to launch Phosis next month — meeting with packaging experts, developing our website, and working closely with my team — I’ve leaned into the ritual of getting ready each morning.
If you’re curious, here are a few of my go-to products that have helped me feel polished while I’m in the middle of a whirlwind:
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Lisa Eldridge Seamless Skin Foundation: Sheer coverage that resists settling into the creases around my eyes.
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Ogee Sculpted Face Sticks in Carnelian: A warm and golden flush that blends beautifully.
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RMS Beauty Living Luminizer: The perfect subtle highlighter for a dewy look.
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Westman Atelier Squeaky Clean Liquid Lip Balm in Ma Puce: A soft raspberry with a touch of shine.
