It often seems that women who wear the most hats or get the most "done" are the ones who get the most kudos — even if they're stressed out, anxious, unhappy, and sleep-deprived behind the scenes. I've been that woman, and it's miserable. In a world where people get their news in 5-second sound bites, products promise results in just a few minutes, and women seldom take even an hour for themselves, slowing down takes a radical shift in your mindset and a conscious effort to incorporate gentleness into your day or week.
For me, this is finding time for a hike, meandering the farmer’s market, tasting flavorful food when I’m cooking, reading a book — and most recently — cultivating a slow beauty ritual.
Slow Beauty
While slow beauty isn’t necessarily new to the beauty world, it’s a new-to-me concept that’s helped me fend off burnout and manage stress. It’s the art of nurturing myself, which I’ve learned the hard way can’t wait until tomorrow.
So what does this look like in practice? It's cleansing my skin carefully with a soft cloth to dissolve makeup instead of harshly scrubbing to get the task done as soon as possible. It’s letting my serum and moisturizer fully absorb instead of slapping them on in hasty layers. It’s smoothing on a nourishing facial oil then carefully massaging my face and neck with my trusty gua sha. (Quick caveat: On days I feel sleep-deprived thanks to perimenopause I give myself permission to cleanse and moisturize only — skincare shouldn’t feel like another burden.)
Tending to my skin as an act of kindness rather than to look younger or better or somehow more acceptable as a woman in midlife has been a hard-won shift. I didn’t grow up feeling beautiful in my skin, and frizzy hair and ongoing shyness didn’t help. Lots of years of reflection (and therapy, and self-help books) later, I love my skin (and my hair) — it’s not flawless, but it’s strong and resilient just like me.
Strong Skin
Most of us understand the importance of strengthening our bodies as we age, and I believe the same to be true for our skin. Strong skin — skin with a strong barrier function — is better at holding onto hydration and repelling environmental stressors. (Your barrier is a watertight seal that protects skin by keeping vital substances like ceramides, cholesterol, and fatty acids in and irritants out.) Repairing barrier function doesn’t happen overnight, but just like finding the right strength training routine for your body, it’s worth taking the time to do.
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Less is more: Slow beauty isn’t watching every TikTok and becoming overwhelmed with how many products are supposedly necessary to have glowing skin. Avoid over-stripping or irritating skin with products that contain harsh surfactants (cleansers), exfoliants, fragrances or alcohols. And consider limiting cleanser to evenings only, especially if you’re on the drier side.
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Consider your lifestyle: The most expensive moisturizer on the market can only do so much for your skin if you aren’t sleeping or staying hydrated or are stressed to the brink of exhaustion.
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Eat well: A nutrient-dense eating pattern rich in omega-3s like the Mediterranean Diet can help make skin strong and supple over time.
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Results take time: There’s a reason clinical trials for skincare products last 8-12 weeks — that’s typically about how long it takes to see meaningful change in the skin. And, contrary to popular belief, applying the products with a heavy hand does not make them work faster.
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Be consistent: Keep in mind that by constantly switching up your routine in an effort to find the perfect serum or moisturizer, you run the risk of disrupting your skin’s barrier function and increasing your chances of an allergic reaction.